Goofy Pen :

This is kind of a tough question because I can see the benefits to having him first. The struggle and guilt of needing and wanting to be in two places at the same time was terribly difficult. I couldn’t bear to be away from Jacob in the hospital long, but I couldn’t bear not being with my other three children at home. I wouldn’t have had to worry about arranging school transportation and places for them stay, and it was rather traumatic for them as it was the rest of us.

However, on the flip side I wouldn’t have had three very helpful (though young) girls at home who really did a lot when we came from the hospital. Jacob wouldn’t have the examples of his sisters, and I think that is one reason why he isn’t behind developmentally, because he wants to be just like them and sees them walk, talk, go potty, etc. Also (not knowing if we are going to have more or not here), it seems to me that subsequent pregnancies would be rather stressful and full of worry that there would be something going wrong , and who knows if we decided to have another sometime down the road I won’t let that deterr our decision, but it will definitely be harder. (if that makes any sense at all.)

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